Another New Short Story - They Just Keep on Coming

Hi Folks,

My other half is away visiting friends so it gave me the chance to finish my latest short story.

For some reason, when I was thinking about what to write about, submarines came to mind, anyway, for those interested it is now published.

You can find it, as with my other offerings, by going to 'My Profile' and clicking on 'Short Stories 5'.

I have no idea if any of them will tickle your fancy, but my pleasure is in writing them, not getting good Press Reviews. It would be nice however if you had the time to give me your opinion. It could help me improve, and that cannot be a bad thing, now can it?

Happy reading.

A Mathematical Projection of How Things Were, Are, and Will Be!

Jokes are continually passed on from one to another on the e-mail circuit, but sometimes a gem comes along that is really a veiled image of the truth. My Brother passed this one on to me, and reading it, I found it quiet indicative of the way life has changed in England over the past thirty years. 

TEACHING MATHS PROGRESS                                              

1.  Teaching maths in 1970 

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 4/5 of the price. 

Assignment: What is his profit? 

2.  Teaching Maths In 1980 

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 80% of the price. 

Assignment: What is his profit?

                                                                                3.Teaching Maths In 1990 

A logger sells a load of timber for £100. His production cost   is £80. 

Assignment: What was was his profit? 

                 

4.  Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. 

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. 

Assignment: Underline the number 20. 

5.  Teaching Maths In 2005 

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate, and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. 

Assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cuts down their homes for a measly profit of £20. 

6. Teaching Maths In 2009 

A logger is arrested and fined £100 for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups. 

He is also fined a £100 because his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation, and is deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however, he does not have the correct Certificate of Competence, and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. 

His DNA is sampled, and his personal details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. 

When released, he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off, but is prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned, and fined a further £100. 

While he is in jail, the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a BBQ of squirrel and pheasant, and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish. 

Upon release from prison, the forester is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own expense is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace, and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal by a regulated government contractor. 

Assignment: How many times is the logger going to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign on the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life? 

7. Teaching Maths In 2010 

A logger can't sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry. His bank has spent all his, and their, money buying derivatives of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama. 

They lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders, who made the biggest losses. 

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. 

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. When questioned, they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home, they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. 

The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master. 

The Government borrows money to pay more to the bankers, who take it as bonus's.   

The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim their share on expenses and allowances.         

You do the maths!!! 

8. Teaching Maths In 2017  

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار . صاحب تكلفة الانت =D 8 ج منالثمن

This is a prime indication of how firstly, between the 70's and 2000, teaching standards dropped, with the inevitable result that exam pass rates fell significantly. The Ministry of Education reacted in a predictable way, by making the exams easier.

Secondly, from 2000 onwards, it epitomises the ever increasing influence of immigrants, minority groups, and the 'Pat me on the back, I LOVE immigrants' Brigade. 

I like the joke, if it wasn't so typical it would be funny. As it is, the hidden message is quite sad to say the least.

Will the last Englishman to leave the country please turn out the lights! (I think I said that already!)

Roy.

Swim in the Med, and Glow in the Dark!

It never ceases to amaze me how low some people will stoop in worship of money. One of the most horrific cases of pure greed unfolded today, when it was announced that members of the Calabrian Mafia had been deliberately sinking ships full of toxic and radioactive waste in the Mediterranean Sea.

In response to a Mafia informant, who claimed to have set explosive charges to sink a ship loaded with toxic and radioactive waste, a robotic camera has been to the bed of the Mediterranean some 18 miles off the south west coast of Italy. The robot found and photographed yellow barrels clearly marked 'Toxic Waste' lying alongside the intact wreck. 

The same informant stated he had personally blown up two other ships containing toxic and radioactive materials. 

The disposal of these materials is, by necessity, a very tightly controlled business, but there are many who see bypassing these laws and dumping the material illegally as a lucrative business. 

It has been rumoured for years that the Mafia had gotten involved in this filthy trade as a way of making easy money. Officials have said that should samples taken from the wreck prove positive, a search will be made for a further 30 vessels sunk with their cargoes over recent years by the Mafia. 

I am well aware of what some people consider 'acceptable' practices to make money, you can't get away from it these days, but to do this without a thought as to what they are doing to the environment is to say the least, unthinkable! 

The fact that the North Sea and Atlantic Ocean have been used as a dumping ground for decades is bad enough, but in the 'Med', being a semi-closed sea, the results would be catastrophic for future generations. 

Already the 'Med' has to absorb 650 million tons of sewage, 129,000 tons of mineral oil, 60,000 tons of mercury, 3,800 tons of lead and 36,000 tons of phosphates annually. 

A 1994 study of the seabed around Spain, France and Italy using trawl nets, revealed an average of 1,935 objects of debris per square kilometre. Of this 76% was plastic, and of that, 94% consisted of plastic bags. 

Pollution in the Eastern Med, which can be attributed to oil tankers using the Suez Canal, has already killed off all the coral reefs (and the life it supported) off the coasts of Egypt and Israel. Must we now do the same thing to the rest of the Mediterranean? 

Has pure greed now reached proportions where we will deliberately poison the entire 2.5 million square kilometres of the Mediterranean? For What! An few thousand lousy Dollars?

Although the 'Med' is a semi-closed sea, through the Straits of Gibtaltar two mighty currents flow opposite each other. One flows from the Atlantic into the "Med', and the other in the opposite direction. This ensures, over a very long period of time, that the water is refreshed. The only problem is, we are polluting it at a far greater rate than the Atlantic current can cope with. 

If we continue on our present course, in a few hundred years you will not even be able to approach the shoreline because of the stink. And now, to top off all that, these senseless Mafia idiots are polluting the waters with radioactive waste. 

If they have indeed sunk 30 cargo ships loaded with radioactive and toxic waste, that means we have literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of tons of this deadly cocktail lying on the bottom waiting for the salt water to corrode through the barrels and release it into the water, where it will then be spread far and wide by the currents. 

If that becomes a reality, your beach kit will comprise of, sunbed, towels, water bottle, sun tan lotion, book, and finally, Geiger Counter so you can measure your radioactivity dose after going for a swim!
If at some time in the future we all start glowing in the dark after a swim, I am sure it will catch on as the 'new vogue' in the disco's!

I hope all of these Mafia animals are caught quickly, so the Italian Government can start cleaning up the bed of the Mediterranean as soon as possible, hopefully before any of this waste starts leaking into the water.

As for punishment, if they are even caught, let them live their final days after being exposed to the core of a nuclear reactor! As their hair starts to fall out, and the radiation burns start to eat their flesh, perhaps it will be a warning to any other prospective polluters. The only problem is: There is no real justice in this world!

Heaven help our children, for we do not deserve this fine planet of ours!

Roy.

Another New Story

Once again I have taxed my writing talents (such as they are) severely, and brought forth a new short story.

This one, for a change, is a little more up to date and focuses on the struggle in Afghanistan. Daily, troops from the United States and Britain are in constant battle with the Taliban insurgency to save the people of Afghanistan, and preserve democracy. Other nations play it safe and insist on their forces being used in (a) a non-combatant role, or (b) operations in safe areas of Afghanistan only.

Some will not agree with this statement, being content to bury their collective heads in the sand. This is in my view, caused by ignorance, and a lack of understanding for the big picture.

If we pull all the troops out of Afghanistan today, what will be the end result? It will surely be that the forces of the Taliban will once more rule the country in tyranny and terror, all in the name of religion, and Bin Laden and his cronies will once more have a safe haven from which to strike at the rest of us!

This is of course all politics, but I hope it will not detract from the enjoyment of anyone who feels like reading a short story.

It is possible to access the story by going to 'My Profile' and clicking on 'MY SHORT STORIES 4.

I enjoy the writing, be it good or bad is for you to decide.

Happy Reading.

Roy