Jokes are continually passed on from one to another on the e-mail circuit, but sometimes a gem comes along that is really a veiled image of the truth. My Brother passed this one on to me, and reading it, I found it quiet indicative of the way life has changed in England over the past thirty years.
TEACHING MATHS PROGRESS
1. Teaching maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 4/5 of the price.
Assignment: What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 80% of the price.
Assignment: What is his profit?
3.Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a load of timber for £100. His production cost is £80.
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate, and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cuts down their homes for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested and fined £100 for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups.
He is also fined a £100 because his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation, and is deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however, he does not have the correct Certificate of Competence, and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.
His DNA is sampled, and his personal details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.
When released, he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off, but is prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned, and fined a further £100.
While he is in jail, the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a BBQ of squirrel and pheasant, and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish.
Upon release from prison, the forester is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own expense is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace, and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal by a regulated government contractor.
Assignment: How many times is the logger going to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign on the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger can't sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry. His bank has spent all his, and their, money buying derivatives of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama.
They lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders, who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. When questioned, they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home, they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again.
The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows money to pay more to the bankers, who take it as bonus's.
The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim their share on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths!!!
8. Teaching Maths In 2017 أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار . صاحب تكلفة الانت =D 8 ج منالثمن
This is a prime indication of how firstly, between the 70's and 2000, teaching standards dropped, with the inevitable result that exam pass rates fell significantly. The Ministry of Education reacted in a predictable way, by making the exams easier.
Secondly, from 2000 onwards, it epitomises the ever increasing influence of immigrants, minority groups, and the 'Pat me on the back, I LOVE immigrants' Brigade.
I like the joke, if it wasn't so typical it would be funny. As it is, the hidden message is quite sad to say the least.
Will the last Englishman to leave the country please turn out the lights! (I think I said that already!)
Roy.
The demise of a great nation!
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