Does the following joke ring any bells? It should if you are a Brit!
THE REST OF THE WORLD VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs, dances, and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs, dances, and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
ABC News shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a
table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer, while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.
Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that
squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to
the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt
when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a Housing
Commission house, financial aid to furnish it, and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be
socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises
it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international
offence of hijacking and attempted bombing, but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.
Initial moves to make them return to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered
to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the
grasshopper's drug 'Illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arriving in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog
during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10
million and state the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug
rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers.
Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.
The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover
THE END
Like the old cowboy said: "Thur's truth in them thur wurds!!!!!"
It doesn't take a dimwit to see the comparison between this tale and the current way of things in Britain.
The ways of the modern world are myriad - mostly insane!
Roy.
The joke doesn't really apply to our times. At least in its own time it was good, because when parents told their children this joke they would listen to them and even reflet on the hidden meaning of the joke, but today this joke is no longer even thought of. The person who wrote this joke perhaps had a good intention to let us know how times have changed to the extreeme. The grasshoper doesn't want to work because he knows he is going to get help from the goverment, etc etc. The trouble is that this problem has gone so far that goverments don't even agree with what they say themselves, let alone find practical solutions for everyone. I don't know but times change, people change, and goverments just can't make their mind up on what's wrong and what is right for as long as they get a fat paycheck at the end of the month.
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