Britain - Home of the Loony's!

If it wasn't so sad it would be funny! For this post I have chosen five of the most ridiculous stories to come out of the UK this week. 
Firstly, in Southampton in southern England, a man turned up at the hospital's casualty department with his penis stuck in a length of steel tubing. The hospital staff could not release it because the situation had caused the man to become aroused thereby enlarging his penis and making it impossible. You really couldn't make this up!!!! Eventually his penis was freed from the pipe by a very delicate operation carried out by.....wait for it!.....Firemen with a metal grinder!!!!!! When I read this story I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Apparently the man left the hospital without any explanation as to how he got his penis stuck in a piece of pipe.
Ed Balls the Schools Secretary for Great Britain is quoted as saying that primary school pupils (aged 7 to 11) and secondary schools (ages 11 to 16) should learn Mandarin i.e Chinese! His reason for such a statement is that Britain has increasing business ties with China and the business sector needs Chinese speakers. Does this mean that it must become part of the national curriculum and a requirement for all children to learn Chinese? I may be stupid, but I can speak Chinese!

He is right in one thing, it should be compulsory for all children in English schools to learn a foreign language; but Chinese? It would be far more useful for them to learn French, German or perhaps Spanish. Britain has for decades fallen behind other European nations in the teaching of foreign languages in schools, leaving it up to the pupils to decide. When it comes to languages the British are notoriously lazy.

Britain's erstwhile Prime Minister Gordon Brown has decreed that poor homes should be given a free laptop and broadband access so the parents can communicate with their children's school. So Gordon is of the opinion that the tax payer should foot the bill for this, and of course poor parents will immediately get 'on line' and follow their offspring's progress at school. I think it more likely there will suddenly be a glut of laptops being offered at knock-down prices in the local pubs to finance a few more pints of best bitter.

On a more serious note, A family of five bought a house for £285,000 and decided to have it structurally altered and renovated. They moved into a rented apartment while the builders were working. After the Christmas break they went to the house and found a group of Romanian squatters occupying the house. They had changed all the locks which prevented the owner from entering. He went to the Police, and on enquiring as to the legal status of the squatters being in the country was told he was racist. Eventually it turned out that the Romanians had become victims of a black con man who had 'rented' them the property. They thought they were legal and had every right to be there, but the black guy was not the owner. It took two weeks for the legal situation to be sorted out, and now, much to the families relief, things are back to normal. The Squatters, they moved into a house further down the street. The con man? He disappeared into a richer puff of smoke.

It has been known for years that Britain needs more jails, and now finally the Labour Government has made plans for more to be built. Britain is way ahead of the rest of Europe when it comes to the size of its prison population. For years, Judges have been given instructions not to send so many felons to jail, no matter how much they deserve it, because the jails are already overcrowded. Prisoners have been released after serving a fraction of their sentence to make room for the next influx of criminals. Many have been hardened criminals who go on to offend again and again after release. For the toe-rags inside for drug dealing, theft and rape etc. they do a fraction of their sentence and then its business as usual.

Strange though it may seem, this plan to build more jails has raised a storm of criticism. Groups, and even MP's, are decrying the move saying resources should be put into preventing crime, not punishing it. I suppose this means more Miss Goody Two-Shoes talking to hardened career criminals trying to convince them of the error of their ways??? I suppose this means that felons will get more non-custodial sentences while the 'Goody Brigade' go to work on them to convince them that it really isn't 'nice' to beat up old age pensioner ladies for the few shillings they have in their purses???? It really is too bizarre for words. These 'Goody Goody" idiots have done so much harm to the English way of life that they should be put against a wall and shot without the chance of parole. I have always been of the opinion that if a criminal is behind bars, he cannot commit more crimes. If the British Penal System were designed to make incarceration so hard that felons would never want to go back to prison after release (like the old days), that more than anything else would cut the crime rate.

Such a shame, but I think the whole country has gone to the dogs!

Woof Woof!

Roy.