To Smack or Not to Smack - Part 2

Referring to my article 'To Smack or Not to Smack' dated Friday 31 July, finally the results of the New Zealand referendum on the disciplinary smacking of children is known, and the overwhelming result from the people was a resounding No!

According to preliminary results, 54% of the population voted, and of those, nearly 90% voted 'No' to the government curbs on child discipline in the home.

According to OECD sources, New Zealand was the third worst country for child abuse and neglect in 2002 among the OECD Nations, and to address this, the government introduced the no-smacking law in 2007.

The referendum held this year has proved the law is unwelcome in New Zealand.

It is possible many New Zealander's read my previous blog before voting, but I doubt it. I think it was more a case of sanity prevailing.

Experience in twenty-three countries that have previously imposed a ban on the most basic of child disciplinary measures, shows in the more affluent countries that we have lost all control over our children. The behaviour of children today is ample proof of the fact they do as they please, when they please.

My wife and I were visiting a friends house recently, and the wife of another friend was there with her child. The two and a half year old child was into everything. Opening drawers, removing the contents and dropping them on the floor, and an ice cream ended up more on the wall and floor than in his mouth.

I could see that our host was getting quite upset, but could not really say anything because the woman in question was his neighbour. At some point in the wanton destruction I could not help myself, and asked her point-blank if she had any control over her son. She just shrugged her shoulders, so I replied that perhaps it was time she started. Not long afterwards she left, so I guess my words hit home.

To have such an ill-disciplined child is one thing, but to allow it to run rampant in someone else's house I find quite intolerable!

It is not the first time I have seen children behaving like this, and I am sure it will not be the last. One thing I do know, no child will ever behave like that in my home, and I don't care if the parents are the King and Queen of Spain.

The case stated above is indicative of the general attitude of parents today, and their total lack of interest in bringing up their children in the correct manner. If questioned about it, all they can do is make excuses for their own failure.

The referendum in New Zealand is non-binding, which means in effect the government can continue doing what it wants.

Prime Minister John Key has already stated publicly that he will not change the existing law despite the overwhelming vote. He is however putting some proposals before the Cabinet next week, so everyone waits with bated breath.

It will be a shame, not only for democracy, but for the New Zealand people in general, if he ignores the referendum result.

Little does he realise, that he holds the future of his people in his hands. On the one hand he can uphold the law, and watch future generations devolve into little more than criminal anarchy, or he can repeal it, and thereby ensure future New Zealander's retain a sense of discipline and respect for each other that is sadly lacking here.

To me there is no contest! The another alternative could be to bring back The Stocks (see photo).

Once, twice, thrice, smack!

Roy.

New Story

Hi, Just thought I would let you know I have added my latest offering in the short story department. You will find it under Short Stories 3 in My Profile. It is called "When the Sands Ran Red". I hope you enjoy reading it.

Roy.

The Lockerbie Bomber

It would seem the Scottish Authorities have taken leave of their collective senses. They have announced that the man responsible for killing 270 people aboard Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21st 1988, was released today and flown back to Libya. The release has caused deep resentment in America, home to 130 of the dead passengers.

Despite all the pleas from relatives of the dead, and the American Government, the Scottish Authorities ears were closed to all but those of the defendant. It is said he is dying from prostate cancer and was therefore released from prison on compassionate grounds.

It begs the question; Where was his compassion when he placed the bomb on the aircraft, knowing it would kill all on board? It was shown during the trial that the bomb had been set to explode somewhere over the Atlantic, in which case the aircraft, and it's passengers, may never have been found. Only a defective timer forestalled the hideous plan and the plane crashed into the Scottish village of Lockerbie four days before Christmas.

It was also shown that many passengers were ejected from the aircraft by the blast at 33,000ft, and many suffered during the fall before they died from cold and lack of oxygen at altitude before hitting the ground. This was proved by the fact that bodies were found over a huge area before the impact site.

So, after such a heinous crime, why does the Law have to show compassion? Should it? I think not!

Abdelbaset al-Megrahi was sentenced to 25 years in prison for personally placing the bomb on the Pan Am aircraft in Malta. While in prison he developed prostate cancer, and because of this has been released.

His crime will be remembered as one of the worst single acts of mass murder in history. The fact that he was released on compassionate grounds because of his illness will go down as one of the great miscarriages of justice.

How can the legal system hope to redress the ever-growing crime rate when criminals from all walks of life can be treated with such 'Compassion"? Recently Ronald Biggs, the Great Train Robber was also released due to illness.

We have become too soft on criminality and all it will do is increase the crime rate. I have long been in favour of bringing back the death penalty for certain crimes like terrorism and premeditated murder where there is no doubt as to the perpetrator.

For the moment al-Megrahi, Biggs and their ilk, should die in prison, and then be buried in unmarked graves.

May Heaven forgive us our timidity.

Roy.

Postscript:

The utter stupidity of Governments and the Law has once again been demonstrated to the world with the arrival of al-Megrahi in Libya.

Righteous indignation has poured forth from the Halls of Westminster and the seat of the Scottish Administration, Holyrood. What did these idiots expect?

Perhaps they thought al-Megrahi would secretly be taken off the plane to a prison to serve the rest of his sentence. How naive can you be! As thousands marched through the streets of Tripoli at the head of the procession, tempers flew in political circles.

He was celebrated as a returning war hero instead of the perpetrator of one of the most heinous crimes in history. To make matters worse, al-Megrahi has never uttered a single word of contrition for his act of mass-murder! Thats what you get for misguided compassion, or to put it in it's real context; Sheer Stupidity!!!

As citizens, surely we have the right to expect our government, or administration, to govern in the best interests of the people? Forget it!

The situation surrounding this man proves once again that Justice is dead, along with so many human values like morality and understanding.

May God help us all!

An Honest Surprise

Yesterday I had a very happy surprise, there are still some honest people in the world. Along with a friend, my wife and I were at a beach club in San Pedro De Alcantara for the afternoon and at one point I needed to use the toilet. I carry a pouch for my wallet and phone etc, and had to take it off to use the convenience. There was a small shelf above the seat and so I put the pouch on it while I did my business. At the time, I remember thinking, 'Don't forget it when you leave Roy!'.

On completion, I returned to our lounger table and continued what I was doing, i.e. having a drink and a chat. It was some twenty minutes later that this guy with a clipboard came up to us and, as I thought at the time, a pouch just like mine in his hand. Even then, it still didn't click, and then he asked me if I had lost the pouch, and on touching my belly suddenly noticed the discrepancy. I had not even realised that I left it behind, so naturally I thanked him profusely and reclaimed my belongings.

It later transpired that a waitress had found it in the toilet and looking around, had approached a group of young men that had been drinking for some while and asked them if it belonged to them. One of them immediately said yes, but thankfully she was suspicious and handed it to one of the waiters who looked inside my wallet and found a legalised photocopy of my passport that I keep in there, and then looked around for me.

The attitude of the young men in the bar was more typical of people today, so it was a wonderful surprise to find that honesty is not as dead as one often suspects.

I was once the victim of a very slick pickpocket in Bucharest some years ago with the same pouch, and so I know what it is like to freeze your bank accounts, cancel credit and bank cards and then order new ones, along with documents like driving licences, passport etc. It is a hassle and a great waste of time and effort, but necessary.

Thankfully, at the time, no-one in Romania knew what to do with the credit cards or documents so, finding no money in it they threw the wallet away. Someone found it, and I eventually got it back via the British Embassy's in Bucharest and Amsterdam, but unfortunately, not before I had renewed everything.

Now-a-days of course, thieves know all too well what to do with a credit/bank card, driving licence or passport they have illegally come into possession of. Sad but true!

The events of yesterday have gone a long way to renewing my faith in people, but at the same time impressed on me the necessity of not making the same mistake again. Hopefully I won't.

May thieves rot in hell, and good people go to Heaven.

Roy.

The Blessings of Old Age

This is the reworked text of a circulatory e-mail my brother sent to me a short time ago. I was so struck with the philosophy that I had to make it into a blog. It is indeed profound, and spells out exactly what it means to be old...if you have the right attitude towards age.

Old age, I have decided , is a gift.....

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging behind.

Often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror and looks like my mother/father, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life or my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly.

As I have aged, I've become more kind and less critical of myself. In short, I have become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my own bed, or for buying that silly computer gizmo that I didn't need but looks so cool in my study. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, and be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they really had a chance to understand the great freedom that comes with aging.

Who's business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4a.m. and sleep until noon? I dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if at the same I time wish to weep over a lost love.... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and dive into the waves with abandon if I choose, despite the pitying glances from the Jet Set. They too will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. Eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken...how can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? Broken hearts are what gives us strength, understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have acquired grey hair, and to have my youthful laughs forever etched on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore and I have even earned the right to be wrong.

So yes, I like being old. It has set me free, and I like the person I have become. I know I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what might have been, or worrying about what will be....and I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.

May friendship never come apart, especially when its straight from the heart. May you always have a rainbow of smiles on your face and in your heart.

Roy.

My thanks to the nameless individual who originally wrote and e-mailed this.

Disco Debs and Fashion

Yesterday evening I attended a rather chique beach disco bar in Marbella with some friends, and it was full of the 'neuvo riche' showing off their money.

I was amazed at the number of teenagers (and suedo-teeners) displaying their wares in all the latest fashion creations, and it got me to thinking.

I have always been a 'people-watcher' and believe me, it can be a rewarding hobby. Some of the sights that passed in front of my eyes last night would make a priest blush.

All the girls were dressed in the latest fashions which varied from skirts so short as to be compared with wide belts, to glittering, or diaphanous creations that would be more suited to a tart. But perhaps the most disturbing were the mothers trying to emulate their offspring.

They stood out like a sore thumb in their 'sexy' outfits trying to copy the dance moves of their youngsters, which was rather a waste of time because they couldn't dance either.

Fashion must move on to be competitive, but today it has reached a point where it now pushes items that would only have been worn by tarts, or 'ladies of the night' in days gone by. My, how times change, or maybe I have just got old!

The accent today seems to be to put everything on display in the hope of catching a hapless male for casual sex, not that the average young male of today is complaining of course.

All the mystery and enchantment of seduction seems to have been washed out of relationships these days, because its more a case of "Here it is, take it or leave it". Seduction has become as bald as "Fancy a ----?" to which she will reply, if he is lucky, "OK!"

The one thing I have learned in all my years is this: Men want sex as often as they can get it, but at the same time, want to marry a virgin! How's that for a paradox! Males always think they can have their cake and eat it (no innuendo intended).

Today's situation does rather lead to the question; Where do we go from here? Well, for my part I have no idea!

One good reason why we cannot glimpse the future perhaps?

Roy.

To Smack or Not to Smack!

Is it right for parents to give their children a smack now and again as a form of discipline? There are many proponents for and against, and who is to say one or the other is right. We all have our own opinions.

Personally, I am for this form of punishment for wayward children, and I believe I have tradition, and the child's well-being, on my side.

First let me make quite clear that I am not in favour of any form of child abuse, and those guilty of such things should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. However, having said that, I think discipline is essential for a child's proper development into a responsible adult.

If you walk the streets of any town or city today, you see the youth doing as they please with no regard or respect for their fellow human beings. Hanging around on street corners in an often threatening manner, getting involved with crime, drugs, alcohol and general mayhem.

This is a sign of our times, and in my humble opinion, is a direct result of poor parenting, coupled with stupid laws that have criminalised the smacking of children since Sweden first introduced the law in 1979, followed by others in later years. For the last 20-30 years, these laws have forbidden any form of 'hands-on' punishment for misdemeanors by children.

Parents have lost all control over their offspring, and it must be admitted, some have used these laws as an excuse not to get involved in their upbringing, or have given up any hope of disciplining their children.

There are of course other factors that have been a great influence on the attitudes of children today, chief among them the total disintegration of 'family life'. This however I will save for another time.

You only have to watch a family in a supermarket to see how much actual control parents have over their children. I have seen countless children told to stop doing something in particular by mummy or daddy, only for the child to show total disregard for them and continue what it was doing.

You could be forgiven for thinking I am talking through my hat, but I have had two children of my own and made sure I brought them up in the traditional way.

As a child, I was often given a slap when I did something wrong or didn't listen to what I was told. In school I had the slipper or cane from my teacher or headmaster for misdemeanors on many occasions. None of this did me any harm, but it did teach me to respect property, laws and rules, and of course, my elders, even if I don't have many 'elders' at my time of life.

The main point of it all was that it disciplined me to have respect for those things I should respect, and that is what is missing in today's society!

With the failure of proper parenting, and the law forbidding the most basic and effective means of punishing a child, it has has gotten so far out of hand, that sad to say, I see no going back.

Any child that grows up without any form of discipline becomes what I would call a 'rogue' element, and we see them daily on our streets today.

I am thankful, and I must admit, proud, that my two children have grown up to be hard working, respectable citizens, and have never 'gone off the rails' like the majority do today. They have never been in trouble, and never turned to drugs or alcohol to fill the gaping void so many of today's young people seem to live with.

I always had a simple method. They knew that I would tell them once, remind them once, but if I had to tell them a third time they would get a slap on the legs or buttocks. They got the picture in a very short time, and after making my point once or twice, I very rarely had to resort to such methods again. The ground rules had been laid down at a very early age and they knew what to expect if they didn't do as they were told. As with me, it did them no harm, and this has been proved by their attitude now they are grown.

The news article that prompted this blog describes a referendum that is to be held in New Zealand on whether to continue the 'No Smacking' laws of that country.

The crazy thing is, the reason for the referendum is not the lack of parental control or discipline, or a general breakdown in respect among children, but whether or not it would affect the number of parents who are investigated for child abuse, but use 'discipline' as an excuse for escaping prosecution. In other words, it misses the point completely.

Quite possibly New Zealand does not yet suffer from the child and teenage problems that we have in the northern hemisphere. The law was only passed in 2007 so it will take a few more years before the lack of parental control manifests itself in child behavioral attitudes. By then of course it will be too late, as it is here.

Proponents of the anti-smacking law say 'positive, non-violent parenting' is more effective, however, it is clear the children themselves have not read the book, because they see it as an opportunity to do as they please, knowing full well their parents can do nothing about it.

It cannot be denied that children in countries having this law have become less obedient, less respectful, and more violent, as a result of the lack of discipline during their formative years, and I dare anyone to prove different.

A Smack in Time Saves Nine????

Roy.

Iran - What Next?

It would seem the turmoil surrounding Iran's disputed election is not over, as yet another prominent figure has declared his dissatisfaction at the result. The hard liners are still holding fast to the win of Ahmadinajad, and even though they have tried to stifle opposition to the vote, it keeps resurfacing.

Last Sunday another former President, Mohammad Khatami, who is closely allied with the Association of Combatant Clerics (ACC), has added his voice to the call for reform, and even went so far as to suggest a referendum to end the dispute.

There is without doubt a very strong movement for reform in Iran, with many people wanting an end to the country's isolation. However, the 'ruling faction', under Ahmadinajad seems intent on projecting Iran as a nuclear power, and, more importantly, the dominant nation in the Middle East. Despite its constant denials, no-one on the planet believes that Iran is not pursuing nuclear weapons.

While Ahmadinajad is the public face of Iranian Politics, it is well known that the real power lies 'behind the throne' so to speak. The secretive power mongers of Iran are really various groups of clerics, for example, The Guardian Council, and in particular the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamanie who succeeded Ayatollah Khomeini.

The power struggle has been brewing for some time as a new generation of Iranians start to make their voices heard, and during the last elections they made it plain they want a change from the old ways. So now we have a struggle for control by those allied with the Guardian Council and the Supreme Leader, and the Reformists who would lead Iran down a more conciliatory path with the west.

Among these is ex-president Rafsanjani who voiced his dissatisfaction with the vote hours after Ahmadinajad declared himself the winner. Rafsanjani has now been joined by other powerful voices in Iran such as Khatami, another ex-president.

Where this goes from here is anybodies guess, but one thing is sure, Ahmadinajad will not relinquish the reins of power without a fight, at least so long as he has the backing of Khamanie.

It would seem that the real leaders of Iran are in for a long period of deep thought as to where the country should go from here. I am sure they will look fondly at the prospect of Iran being a nuclear nation with all the prestige that can bring, and therefore becoming the 'top dog' in the Middle East, and with it the chance to force the Islamic Revolution onto their western leaning neighbours.

On the other hand, the leaders know they cannot go against the will of the people for too long. As history has repeatedly shown, in a situation like this it is only a matter of time before they are cast down.

May justice and truth prevail.

Roy.

And Now a Ghost?

I have just watched footage of what CNN speculates is the ghost of Michael Jackson walking the hallways of his Neverland Ranch. As one who has never believed in ghosts, it strikes me as strange that a reputable news channel like CNN should make such a claim.

However, a shadowy figure can be seen crossing a hallway during a CNN shoot at the ranch. According to the report, the figure was not noticed initially, and was discovered later. Sceptics will no doubt claim it was added later in the studio, and this is possible with modern technology, but who can say.

Another interesting report claims that Michael's sister, La Toya, is insisting he "was murdered for his money". Now that doesn't surprise me!

According to her, there was always at least a million dollars in cash kept in his home, and she has stated publicly that there was no money, or jewelry, found after Michael's death.

"Curiouser and curiouser" said Alice!

It is I believe, quite justifiable to say that Michael Jackson had among his entourage people who did not have his best interests at heart, but were there to get what they could out of him. It is a constant danger for people of his standing in the world, they seem to attract the parasites like bees to honey.

Michael, I think, was a good man through and through, a simple man who believed only in the good of people, who was so naive and wrapped up in his music that he failed to take note of what his 'advisers and financial experts' were up to.

La Toya seems convinced there was a "conspiracy by a number of people" to murder him for his money. It would appear that he had been fed a cocktail of various medicines by his doctor, and was found in his doctors bedroom, not his own bed as first thought. An intravenous drip and oxygen bottle were found in his room, although the contents of the drip are at the moment unknown.

Michael's sister has further claimed that those surrounding him "cut him off from his family and friends" and "forced him to sign contracts for 50 concerts' instead of 'the 10 that he wanted to do". She has claimed he "was the loneliest man in the world" after being cut off from those who loved him at the time of his death.

We can only hope that time will reveal all that happened in Michael Jackson's final hours, and the story may well be different from what we now know. There are many unanswered questions about the circumstances surrounding one of the most influential pop stars of all time, and we can only hope the Police and perhaps the FBI do not rest on their laurels.

Without doubt, there is a huge question mark over the drug cocktail that was administered to him, what was given, why it was given, and who authorized it etc.

The one thing that has surprised me the most about this whole episode, is how quick the pathologist was in reaching his conclusion that Michael died a natural death, and how quickly his body was released for burial. Surely, if it was known that drugs of any sort were involved, prescribed or otherwise, this in itself would be sufficient reason for a full autopsy and toxicology to be initiated. In this case it seems, these tests were considered unnecessary. Why!

I really do have to question the competence of the original pathologist, or is there something more sinister at work here? Were there people among his entourage who hoped he would be buried quickly, so as to make it impossible for the true cause of his death to be discovered? The man was worth a billion dollars, so what has happened to all his money? Has it all been accounted for? What about the cash and jewelry kept in the house? Where did it go? Did it exist, as La Toya claims?

These questions, and many more, need to be answered before the authorities can properly close the book on the Michael Jackson case.

So far as the man is concerned, it is my feeling he was a simple man, with a great love for all mankind. He did not have a devious cell in his body, and was, without doubt, totally oblivious to the intrigue and scheming that was going on around him. He lived for his music, and you only have to watch one of his performances to see that he gave each one 110%.

Watching his interview videos, you get the feel of how lonely he was. He stated openly that he desired the ability to go shopping in a supermarket and do the simple things we all take for granted. His fame however made such an everyday thing impossible, but it did give an insight, for those clever enough to pick it up, that inside he must have been very lonely indeed. This must have been very hard for an individual with so much love to share.

That he should be vilified by the press because he was different to the rest of us, and taken advantage of by those who would obtain money from him, is one of the great scandals of our time.

I hope all the facts surrounding this case come to light quickly, because only then will Michael's 'Ghost' no longer haunt the halls of Neverland.

The King is Dead! Long Live the King!

Roy.

End of an Era

Now the furor surrounding the death of an icon is over, I thought I should write a little about Michael Jackson. The artist, the man, what does it all mean?

Since he first exploded on the 'Pop' scene as a solo artist many years ago, he became a phenomenon in the industry, continually setting new boundary's in music and music video that others have tried, without success, to follow. As a star he was unique, with his incomparable dance style and the sheer professionalism in everything he did. Seldom has the 'Pop World' seen anything like him, and probably never will again.

I remember back in 1991 when I first went to visit a Romanian Girls Orphanage with an Aid Group, I took with me a radio/cassette player as a gift for the girls, thinking they might get some enjoyment out of it. I included many tapes of Michael Jackson, and to my joy they loved it. From then on the place rang to the sounds of Michael Jackson played at full volume while the girls danced. His fame, and music, had quickly spread even to Romania after its release from communism in 1989.

It is indeed sad that the man, in all his eccentricities, became a target for the World Press, which undoubtedly caused his downfall. Say what you like about the Press, but they can make or break anyone they set their sights on, and if you are somewhat eccentric, you become a natural target. Never mind if it's true or not, the truth does not sell newspapers!

The one thing that contributed most to his falling from grace with all but his most ardent fans, was the court case in which he was accused of molesting children. In my opinion, this was nothing more than an attempt to get a lot of money from him, and there is a word for that: Extortion!.

With his, to some, peculiar habits and looks, he was a natural target for those greedy individuals who thought they could take advantage of his fame and eccentricity to get millions of dollars out of him. He was of course declared innocent, but the people who should really have gone to jail were the parents of the child in the middle of the plot. Unfortunately, the Law does not allow for that!

Either way, it made a dent in what could have been a continuing career, and deprived his many fans of his genius. Not surprisingly, he became a recluse, hiding himself away from the limelight. It is sad that at the moment when he was trying to make a comeback, he was taken.

Whenever I saw him on 'the box', I always had the impression he was a very gentle man, and in many ways naive. He never looked to be someone interested in making money, he was only interested in his music. He had obviously surrounded himself with finacial and business advisors who took care of his holdings, but I often wonder if they really had Michaels interests at heart, or thier own! There is no doubt, many milked the 'golden cow' at every opportunity. I have always believed Michael himself was ill-equipped to deal with all the fame and riches that fame brought him. His whole being was orientated towards his music.

With all the money he spent on setting up 'Neverland', who can doubt his love for children. What a shame this was twisted by the scurrouless Press and the greed of certain individuals who saw only dollar signs in front of their eyes.

Now begins the legal battles for control of his estate and bank accounts. How typical that as soon as he was declared dead, the hyena's started to circle the remains. It is not just the relatives who are among the pack either. The recording industry is looking at big profits as the fans gather to buy re-releases and remixes of his music. Individuals are even out on the streets selling cheap tatty t-shirts emblazoned with his picture in the hope of cashing in.

The whole scene is distasteful and shoddy, but that's what people are like these days': 'Anything to make a buck!' It says a lot about the depths to which we have sunk as a society when all we can think of is profiting from the death of someone like Michael Jackson, who was vilified during his last years but is suddenly, in death, the 'greatest thing since sliced bread'.

It all goes to emphasise the hypocrisy of people today, with the press as the chief culprits. Since his death they all did a 180 degree about face and are now praising his genius, whereas before they never missed an opportunity to stick another knife in his back.

I doubt very much we will see another man with his talent. It is however good to know that he will go down in 'Pop' history as a true genius, along with the likes of Elvis Presley and the Beatles. He deserves in death what he could never attain in life.

Rest in Peace Michael. Your memory will live on.

Roy.