Another New Short Story - They Just Keep on Coming

Hi Folks,

My other half is away visiting friends so it gave me the chance to finish my latest short story.

For some reason, when I was thinking about what to write about, submarines came to mind, anyway, for those interested it is now published.

You can find it, as with my other offerings, by going to 'My Profile' and clicking on 'Short Stories 5'.

I have no idea if any of them will tickle your fancy, but my pleasure is in writing them, not getting good Press Reviews. It would be nice however if you had the time to give me your opinion. It could help me improve, and that cannot be a bad thing, now can it?

Happy reading.

A Mathematical Projection of How Things Were, Are, and Will Be!

Jokes are continually passed on from one to another on the e-mail circuit, but sometimes a gem comes along that is really a veiled image of the truth. My Brother passed this one on to me, and reading it, I found it quiet indicative of the way life has changed in England over the past thirty years. 

TEACHING MATHS PROGRESS                                              

1.  Teaching maths in 1970 

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 4/5 of the price. 

Assignment: What is his profit? 

2.  Teaching Maths In 1980 

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His production cost is 80% of the price. 

Assignment: What is his profit?

                                                                                3.Teaching Maths In 1990 

A logger sells a load of timber for £100. His production cost   is £80. 

Assignment: What was was his profit? 

                 

4.  Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. 

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. 

Assignment: Underline the number 20. 

5.  Teaching Maths In 2005 

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate, and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. 

Assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cuts down their homes for a measly profit of £20. 

6. Teaching Maths In 2009 

A logger is arrested and fined £100 for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups. 

He is also fined a £100 because his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation, and is deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however, he does not have the correct Certificate of Competence, and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. 

His DNA is sampled, and his personal details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. 

When released, he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off, but is prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned, and fined a further £100. 

While he is in jail, the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a BBQ of squirrel and pheasant, and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish. 

Upon release from prison, the forester is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own expense is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace, and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal by a regulated government contractor. 

Assignment: How many times is the logger going to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign on the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life? 

7. Teaching Maths In 2010 

A logger can't sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry. His bank has spent all his, and their, money buying derivatives of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama. 

They lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders, who made the biggest losses. 

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. 

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. When questioned, they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home, they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. 

The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master. 

The Government borrows money to pay more to the bankers, who take it as bonus's.   

The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim their share on expenses and allowances.         

You do the maths!!! 

8. Teaching Maths In 2017  

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار . صاحب تكلفة الانت =D 8 ج منالثمن

This is a prime indication of how firstly, between the 70's and 2000, teaching standards dropped, with the inevitable result that exam pass rates fell significantly. The Ministry of Education reacted in a predictable way, by making the exams easier.

Secondly, from 2000 onwards, it epitomises the ever increasing influence of immigrants, minority groups, and the 'Pat me on the back, I LOVE immigrants' Brigade. 

I like the joke, if it wasn't so typical it would be funny. As it is, the hidden message is quite sad to say the least.

Will the last Englishman to leave the country please turn out the lights! (I think I said that already!)

Roy.

Swim in the Med, and Glow in the Dark!

It never ceases to amaze me how low some people will stoop in worship of money. One of the most horrific cases of pure greed unfolded today, when it was announced that members of the Calabrian Mafia had been deliberately sinking ships full of toxic and radioactive waste in the Mediterranean Sea.

In response to a Mafia informant, who claimed to have set explosive charges to sink a ship loaded with toxic and radioactive waste, a robotic camera has been to the bed of the Mediterranean some 18 miles off the south west coast of Italy. The robot found and photographed yellow barrels clearly marked 'Toxic Waste' lying alongside the intact wreck. 

The same informant stated he had personally blown up two other ships containing toxic and radioactive materials. 

The disposal of these materials is, by necessity, a very tightly controlled business, but there are many who see bypassing these laws and dumping the material illegally as a lucrative business. 

It has been rumoured for years that the Mafia had gotten involved in this filthy trade as a way of making easy money. Officials have said that should samples taken from the wreck prove positive, a search will be made for a further 30 vessels sunk with their cargoes over recent years by the Mafia. 

I am well aware of what some people consider 'acceptable' practices to make money, you can't get away from it these days, but to do this without a thought as to what they are doing to the environment is to say the least, unthinkable! 

The fact that the North Sea and Atlantic Ocean have been used as a dumping ground for decades is bad enough, but in the 'Med', being a semi-closed sea, the results would be catastrophic for future generations. 

Already the 'Med' has to absorb 650 million tons of sewage, 129,000 tons of mineral oil, 60,000 tons of mercury, 3,800 tons of lead and 36,000 tons of phosphates annually. 

A 1994 study of the seabed around Spain, France and Italy using trawl nets, revealed an average of 1,935 objects of debris per square kilometre. Of this 76% was plastic, and of that, 94% consisted of plastic bags. 

Pollution in the Eastern Med, which can be attributed to oil tankers using the Suez Canal, has already killed off all the coral reefs (and the life it supported) off the coasts of Egypt and Israel. Must we now do the same thing to the rest of the Mediterranean? 

Has pure greed now reached proportions where we will deliberately poison the entire 2.5 million square kilometres of the Mediterranean? For What! An few thousand lousy Dollars?

Although the 'Med' is a semi-closed sea, through the Straits of Gibtaltar two mighty currents flow opposite each other. One flows from the Atlantic into the "Med', and the other in the opposite direction. This ensures, over a very long period of time, that the water is refreshed. The only problem is, we are polluting it at a far greater rate than the Atlantic current can cope with. 

If we continue on our present course, in a few hundred years you will not even be able to approach the shoreline because of the stink. And now, to top off all that, these senseless Mafia idiots are polluting the waters with radioactive waste. 

If they have indeed sunk 30 cargo ships loaded with radioactive and toxic waste, that means we have literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of tons of this deadly cocktail lying on the bottom waiting for the salt water to corrode through the barrels and release it into the water, where it will then be spread far and wide by the currents. 

If that becomes a reality, your beach kit will comprise of, sunbed, towels, water bottle, sun tan lotion, book, and finally, Geiger Counter so you can measure your radioactivity dose after going for a swim!
If at some time in the future we all start glowing in the dark after a swim, I am sure it will catch on as the 'new vogue' in the disco's!

I hope all of these Mafia animals are caught quickly, so the Italian Government can start cleaning up the bed of the Mediterranean as soon as possible, hopefully before any of this waste starts leaking into the water.

As for punishment, if they are even caught, let them live their final days after being exposed to the core of a nuclear reactor! As their hair starts to fall out, and the radiation burns start to eat their flesh, perhaps it will be a warning to any other prospective polluters. The only problem is: There is no real justice in this world!

Heaven help our children, for we do not deserve this fine planet of ours!

Roy.

Another New Story

Once again I have taxed my writing talents (such as they are) severely, and brought forth a new short story.

This one, for a change, is a little more up to date and focuses on the struggle in Afghanistan. Daily, troops from the United States and Britain are in constant battle with the Taliban insurgency to save the people of Afghanistan, and preserve democracy. Other nations play it safe and insist on their forces being used in (a) a non-combatant role, or (b) operations in safe areas of Afghanistan only.

Some will not agree with this statement, being content to bury their collective heads in the sand. This is in my view, caused by ignorance, and a lack of understanding for the big picture.

If we pull all the troops out of Afghanistan today, what will be the end result? It will surely be that the forces of the Taliban will once more rule the country in tyranny and terror, all in the name of religion, and Bin Laden and his cronies will once more have a safe haven from which to strike at the rest of us!

This is of course all politics, but I hope it will not detract from the enjoyment of anyone who feels like reading a short story.

It is possible to access the story by going to 'My Profile' and clicking on 'MY SHORT STORIES 4.

I enjoy the writing, be it good or bad is for you to decide.

Happy Reading.

Roy

Madonna With Foot in Mouth

What makes Madonna think she knows anything about Romany Gypsies? Once again she has put her big foot in it, and this time at a concert in front of thousands of fans in Bucharest.

During the concert she said she felt 'sad' at all the discrimination against Gypsies and Roma! This did not go down well with her Romanian fans, and I have to say, for someone who has probably never even seen a Gypsy close-up before she went to Romania, she has a bloody cheek!.

Closeted as she is in America, Madonna would not recognise a Gypsy if he stole her purse! She has no understanding of the long history here in Europe of the thievery and begging that is the basis of their culture. All she has seen is the music and dance side of them because she has Gypsy musicians with her on the tour.

What does she know of the centuries of stealing anything that is not bolted down, of the pickpockets that roam the streets of every major town in Eurpope, and the constant begging? What does she know of the encampments all over Europe that turn a once pretty site into a rubbish tip?

We in Europe know all too well, that if Gypsies move into the area, you had better bolt your doors and lock away your valuables, because otherwise they will disappear. It has been this way for centuries because it is the basis on which their lives are founded.

As soon as Romany children are old enough to walk they are taught how to beg on the streets. When they are old enough to run they are taught how to steal wallets, purses and other valuables we carry on our persons. There is no if, but, or maybe, that is the way it is, and always has been.

You may well ask, what do I know of Gypsies and Roma? Well, I have spent a great deal of time in Romania in the last sixteen years. I have seen where and how they live, and I have talked with many Romanians who fear and detest them for the stain they place on the Romanian people.

During my first visit to Romania many years ago with an aid organisation, the villigers were unloading a truck into a storage area. Much of the cargo was clothes for the village people. There were half a dozen males who volunteered to work inside the truck passing out the plastic bags while many more people carried them inside the building.

It was no more than ten minutes later that a commotion broke out at the back of the truck and the Village Mayor removed the men from inside. We were astounded to see them peel off five or six pairs of trousers and four or five shirts they had put on under thier own clothes while in the truck. Such is the cunning of these Romany. Thankfully, the Mayor knew his people and there were no more incidents after the offenders were removed from the scene.

I have seen children of three and four years old begging on the streets of Bucharest, and one time I even had my wallet stolen. So, Yes! I do know what they are like.

The really sad part, is the population of Europe have put all the Romanian people in the same category! In reality, non-gypsies are good, hardworking, and extremely generous people who would do anything to help if you were in a bad situation.

Romanians are the complete opposite of the Gypsies and Roma, but such is the influence and total distrust of the latter throughout Europe over the centuries, that the ordinary Romanian people can do no good.

My wife and I have a Romanian friend here in Spain. We recently helped him and and his wife to settle here in the south after work dried up in Madrid. He and his wife are hard working, conciencious people with good hearts, but can he find a job here in the south; not likely!

He has applied for many many jobs since they arrived, but the first question from his potential employer is; "Where are you from?" As soon as he says Romania, the immediate reply is "I'll call you tomorrow!" Of course they never do because the bad reputation of the Gypsies always precedes any honest Romanian trying to get a job.

It is an undisputed fact that most of the petty crime commited here in the south of Spain can be laid at the feet of the Romany.

There are of course some Romanians who are just basic criminals, I will not dispute this fact. I personnaly know several who even boast of their thieving exploits and are quite proud of the fact. But to be fair, there are career criminals in every race on earth. To me, it does not mean that all should be tarred with the same brush, but you cannot get away from the centuries of distrust and hatred sown by the Romany!

Romania has been dogged by the stigma of the Romany people for too long, but I fear as long as they exist without changing their culture, things will never improve, and even then it will take generations.

Will Madonna ever learn to engage brain before opening mouth?

Roy.

To Smack or Not to Smack - Part 2

Referring to my article 'To Smack or Not to Smack' dated Friday 31 July, finally the results of the New Zealand referendum on the disciplinary smacking of children is known, and the overwhelming result from the people was a resounding No!

According to preliminary results, 54% of the population voted, and of those, nearly 90% voted 'No' to the government curbs on child discipline in the home.

According to OECD sources, New Zealand was the third worst country for child abuse and neglect in 2002 among the OECD Nations, and to address this, the government introduced the no-smacking law in 2007.

The referendum held this year has proved the law is unwelcome in New Zealand.

It is possible many New Zealander's read my previous blog before voting, but I doubt it. I think it was more a case of sanity prevailing.

Experience in twenty-three countries that have previously imposed a ban on the most basic of child disciplinary measures, shows in the more affluent countries that we have lost all control over our children. The behaviour of children today is ample proof of the fact they do as they please, when they please.

My wife and I were visiting a friends house recently, and the wife of another friend was there with her child. The two and a half year old child was into everything. Opening drawers, removing the contents and dropping them on the floor, and an ice cream ended up more on the wall and floor than in his mouth.

I could see that our host was getting quite upset, but could not really say anything because the woman in question was his neighbour. At some point in the wanton destruction I could not help myself, and asked her point-blank if she had any control over her son. She just shrugged her shoulders, so I replied that perhaps it was time she started. Not long afterwards she left, so I guess my words hit home.

To have such an ill-disciplined child is one thing, but to allow it to run rampant in someone else's house I find quite intolerable!

It is not the first time I have seen children behaving like this, and I am sure it will not be the last. One thing I do know, no child will ever behave like that in my home, and I don't care if the parents are the King and Queen of Spain.

The case stated above is indicative of the general attitude of parents today, and their total lack of interest in bringing up their children in the correct manner. If questioned about it, all they can do is make excuses for their own failure.

The referendum in New Zealand is non-binding, which means in effect the government can continue doing what it wants.

Prime Minister John Key has already stated publicly that he will not change the existing law despite the overwhelming vote. He is however putting some proposals before the Cabinet next week, so everyone waits with bated breath.

It will be a shame, not only for democracy, but for the New Zealand people in general, if he ignores the referendum result.

Little does he realise, that he holds the future of his people in his hands. On the one hand he can uphold the law, and watch future generations devolve into little more than criminal anarchy, or he can repeal it, and thereby ensure future New Zealander's retain a sense of discipline and respect for each other that is sadly lacking here.

To me there is no contest! The another alternative could be to bring back The Stocks (see photo).

Once, twice, thrice, smack!

Roy.

New Story

Hi, Just thought I would let you know I have added my latest offering in the short story department. You will find it under Short Stories 3 in My Profile. It is called "When the Sands Ran Red". I hope you enjoy reading it.

Roy.

The Lockerbie Bomber

It would seem the Scottish Authorities have taken leave of their collective senses. They have announced that the man responsible for killing 270 people aboard Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21st 1988, was released today and flown back to Libya. The release has caused deep resentment in America, home to 130 of the dead passengers.

Despite all the pleas from relatives of the dead, and the American Government, the Scottish Authorities ears were closed to all but those of the defendant. It is said he is dying from prostate cancer and was therefore released from prison on compassionate grounds.

It begs the question; Where was his compassion when he placed the bomb on the aircraft, knowing it would kill all on board? It was shown during the trial that the bomb had been set to explode somewhere over the Atlantic, in which case the aircraft, and it's passengers, may never have been found. Only a defective timer forestalled the hideous plan and the plane crashed into the Scottish village of Lockerbie four days before Christmas.

It was also shown that many passengers were ejected from the aircraft by the blast at 33,000ft, and many suffered during the fall before they died from cold and lack of oxygen at altitude before hitting the ground. This was proved by the fact that bodies were found over a huge area before the impact site.

So, after such a heinous crime, why does the Law have to show compassion? Should it? I think not!

Abdelbaset al-Megrahi was sentenced to 25 years in prison for personally placing the bomb on the Pan Am aircraft in Malta. While in prison he developed prostate cancer, and because of this has been released.

His crime will be remembered as one of the worst single acts of mass murder in history. The fact that he was released on compassionate grounds because of his illness will go down as one of the great miscarriages of justice.

How can the legal system hope to redress the ever-growing crime rate when criminals from all walks of life can be treated with such 'Compassion"? Recently Ronald Biggs, the Great Train Robber was also released due to illness.

We have become too soft on criminality and all it will do is increase the crime rate. I have long been in favour of bringing back the death penalty for certain crimes like terrorism and premeditated murder where there is no doubt as to the perpetrator.

For the moment al-Megrahi, Biggs and their ilk, should die in prison, and then be buried in unmarked graves.

May Heaven forgive us our timidity.

Roy.

Postscript:

The utter stupidity of Governments and the Law has once again been demonstrated to the world with the arrival of al-Megrahi in Libya.

Righteous indignation has poured forth from the Halls of Westminster and the seat of the Scottish Administration, Holyrood. What did these idiots expect?

Perhaps they thought al-Megrahi would secretly be taken off the plane to a prison to serve the rest of his sentence. How naive can you be! As thousands marched through the streets of Tripoli at the head of the procession, tempers flew in political circles.

He was celebrated as a returning war hero instead of the perpetrator of one of the most heinous crimes in history. To make matters worse, al-Megrahi has never uttered a single word of contrition for his act of mass-murder! Thats what you get for misguided compassion, or to put it in it's real context; Sheer Stupidity!!!

As citizens, surely we have the right to expect our government, or administration, to govern in the best interests of the people? Forget it!

The situation surrounding this man proves once again that Justice is dead, along with so many human values like morality and understanding.

May God help us all!

An Honest Surprise

Yesterday I had a very happy surprise, there are still some honest people in the world. Along with a friend, my wife and I were at a beach club in San Pedro De Alcantara for the afternoon and at one point I needed to use the toilet. I carry a pouch for my wallet and phone etc, and had to take it off to use the convenience. There was a small shelf above the seat and so I put the pouch on it while I did my business. At the time, I remember thinking, 'Don't forget it when you leave Roy!'.

On completion, I returned to our lounger table and continued what I was doing, i.e. having a drink and a chat. It was some twenty minutes later that this guy with a clipboard came up to us and, as I thought at the time, a pouch just like mine in his hand. Even then, it still didn't click, and then he asked me if I had lost the pouch, and on touching my belly suddenly noticed the discrepancy. I had not even realised that I left it behind, so naturally I thanked him profusely and reclaimed my belongings.

It later transpired that a waitress had found it in the toilet and looking around, had approached a group of young men that had been drinking for some while and asked them if it belonged to them. One of them immediately said yes, but thankfully she was suspicious and handed it to one of the waiters who looked inside my wallet and found a legalised photocopy of my passport that I keep in there, and then looked around for me.

The attitude of the young men in the bar was more typical of people today, so it was a wonderful surprise to find that honesty is not as dead as one often suspects.

I was once the victim of a very slick pickpocket in Bucharest some years ago with the same pouch, and so I know what it is like to freeze your bank accounts, cancel credit and bank cards and then order new ones, along with documents like driving licences, passport etc. It is a hassle and a great waste of time and effort, but necessary.

Thankfully, at the time, no-one in Romania knew what to do with the credit cards or documents so, finding no money in it they threw the wallet away. Someone found it, and I eventually got it back via the British Embassy's in Bucharest and Amsterdam, but unfortunately, not before I had renewed everything.

Now-a-days of course, thieves know all too well what to do with a credit/bank card, driving licence or passport they have illegally come into possession of. Sad but true!

The events of yesterday have gone a long way to renewing my faith in people, but at the same time impressed on me the necessity of not making the same mistake again. Hopefully I won't.

May thieves rot in hell, and good people go to Heaven.

Roy.

The Blessings of Old Age

This is the reworked text of a circulatory e-mail my brother sent to me a short time ago. I was so struck with the philosophy that I had to make it into a blog. It is indeed profound, and spells out exactly what it means to be old...if you have the right attitude towards age.

Old age, I have decided , is a gift.....

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging behind.

Often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror and looks like my mother/father, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life or my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly.

As I have aged, I've become more kind and less critical of myself. In short, I have become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my own bed, or for buying that silly computer gizmo that I didn't need but looks so cool in my study. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, and be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they really had a chance to understand the great freedom that comes with aging.

Who's business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4a.m. and sleep until noon? I dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if at the same I time wish to weep over a lost love.... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and dive into the waves with abandon if I choose, despite the pitying glances from the Jet Set. They too will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. Eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken...how can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? Broken hearts are what gives us strength, understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have acquired grey hair, and to have my youthful laughs forever etched on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore and I have even earned the right to be wrong.

So yes, I like being old. It has set me free, and I like the person I have become. I know I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what might have been, or worrying about what will be....and I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.

May friendship never come apart, especially when its straight from the heart. May you always have a rainbow of smiles on your face and in your heart.

Roy.

My thanks to the nameless individual who originally wrote and e-mailed this.